The end of ocean acidification (our contribution to April Fools day)

This is probably the most exciting and positive news of my life.  Reading The London Times this morning I could hardly hold the tears, tears of joy and relief for once.  While I am aware there are plenty other hazards and pending threats to the environment and that this is by no means the end of all problems, the certainty that a year from now Ocean Acidification will be a thing of the past clearly constitutes a turning point for all of us, both in the way we envision our role in this planet and in the work and involvement of major corporations.

I am sure you know by now, but just in case for some reason you have not watched the news or read the papers today, giant German pharmaceutical company Bayer Schering Pharma and US GlaxoSmithKline announced last night that they have spent the past 5 years doing secretive research (over US $30 billion spent!) on Ocean Acidification and that they have found a definitive solution for it!  Thanks to over 80 years of experience on stomach acid problems and its treatment they have been to develop a simple yet efficient remedy.  The Bayer facility in Besoffendorf, north of Hamburg, is already producing the largest and most potent AlkaSeltzer and Tums pill ever, an impressive four ton giant baptized “Tumkaseltz” (very rotund and German, very appropriate, in my opinion) with the combined potency of over five trillion regular antacids.

Daniel de la Calle, A SEA CHANGE, 1 April 2011. Full article.


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